Recipes for Living Brian and Shirley Diercks

Brian and I came to Osceola from northern Iowa via Minnesota and Wisconsin. Not the least of southern Iowa's attraction was a warmer climate.

I was born in 1952, in Mason City, Iowa but grew up on a farm near Grafton. My parents were Reuben and Evelyn Bartusek, which is a Bohemian name. Bohemia is no longer found on the map but was a country in the western part of Czechoslovakia. I had a great aunt who lived to the age of 99, who was full-blood Bohemian. She had never married but lived with and took care of her brothers. She went into a nursing home when she was 92 or 93 years old and had her first perm at the age of 94. It was also a new experience for her to attend the non-denominational worship services at the home. She had never attended a church until then.

The church was not part of my parents' background. Dad wasn't raised in a church. My mother's maiden name was Schwartz, which is about as German as a name can get. Her parents spoke of going to Radio Chapel, and Mom's siblings are mostly Baptist. However, Grafton was a Lutheran community and if you wanted to be part of the community, you went to that church. My parents took us and dropped us off until I was about 10, and then they became faithful attenders.

I have a sister, Nancy, 11 years older than I, and a brother, Dean, three years older. We didn't have much in common. I remember that Nancy and I occasionally played dolls together but I wasn't much into dolls. I had them. They were in a perfectly tidy corner of my room. Barbie was outfitted but not touched. Dad made a doll bed out of meat spindles from a packing plant, and I kept it perfectly made up with the baby dolls laid on it perfectly. I didn't like it if some little kid came over to play and messed up my perfect arrangement. I still have one of the dolls, and her hair is still as perfect as the day I got her. Do you get the picture? I was an extremely well-organized person even then. Anyone who knows me knows this is true even now. I think it may be in the stars. I have a friend who was born on the 18th of the month, I on the 16th, and we are exactly alike, except that I am worse about it than she is.

In preference to playing house and dolls, I liked being out-of-doors. By the time I was 12 years old, Dean and I were helping Dad. I drove the baler and then the tractor to pull the hay up into the barn.

My elementary school education, kindergarten through fifth grade, was in Grafton. At that time Grafton consolidated with Carpenter and St. Ansgar. I went to Grafton for junior high and went to high school in St. Ansgar. I graduated in 1970.

It is fun to think back on my teachers and what I remember about them. Actually, there wasn't a teacher I didn't like. In first grade I had Mrs. Johannes. She wasn't much bigger than I am now but if any of the boys gave her a problem, she didn't hesitate to spank them. That was before she had her own kids. Whether or not she revised her disciplinary tactics then, I’m not sure. The main thing I appreciated about her was that she didn't talk down to us. I still don't like people to do that.

In second grade and again in fourth we had Mrs. Coyle. She was old! That is all that comes to mind when I think of her - just old! She was probably in her late 50's, kind and nice, a grandma type. Just old. We had Miss May, Miss Mardell May, and who was probably in her late 20's or early 30's. I couldn't imagine anyone that age not being married. She was well kept but kind of plain. Four or five years later, she did marry.

I won't forget Mrs. Reader, who taught fifth grade. She caught me cheating one day, which I admit I was doing. I was looking under my arm at the paper of the boy sitting behind me and pretty soon I got lax and turned around to ask him the answer to a question - and there she was! I wilted, but I talked my way out of it-"That wasn't really what I was doing! I never cheated again - in her class.

I was in sixth grade before I had my first male teacher, and I don't remember his name. His wife and Mrs. Reader taught the other sixth grade. Of course, we moved around to class rooms in junior high and high school so I had a variety of teachers. I got pretty good grades. There was one high school teacher that I still think of occasionally. His name was Russ Sherman and he taught algebra. He always treated me well but maybe the reason I remember him was that he was a big guy, a coach, and I was probably 75 pounds, soaking wet. He and his wife was a lovely couple. I recently saw one of my former teachers. He didn't recognize me. Come to think of it, he taught me 40 years and goodness knows how many students ago! No wonder he didn't know me!

My only extra-curricular activity in high school was playing the flute in band. It was my mother's idea, not mine, and I didn't particularly enjoy it.

After I graduated in 1970, I went to work at United Home Bank in Mason City for six years. For the first two years, my job consisted of bouncing checks-i.e., sending them back because of insufficient funds. Then I worked in the real estate department for four years as secretary to Brian's dad. I saw Brian occasionally when he came into the bank, but we hardly spoke then. We actually met on May Day, 1976, at a place in Mason City where singles congregated. Of course, Brian was already in my good favor because I thought so highly of his dad. It wouldn't have seemed appropriate for us to date when I was his dad's employee, but his dad resigned on April 30, and we met socially the next night. We had gone separately, began talking, and discovered we enjoyed one another. We talked until about 5:00a.m. I had an apartment and a car, so I drove him home and remember that his mother was up waiting for him.

We continued to date and were married that same year, on December 23, in the chapel of a Methodist Church in Mason City. It was a small wedding with just my mom and dad and Brian's immediate family present.

We continued living in Mason City where Brian worked for a paper supply company. I quit the bank job in 1976, and went to work for Waggoner, Mahaffey and Bowman, an architectural firm. I worked there for 1 ½ years, keeping books, typing "specs" (specifications for buildings), and running off blue prints. Basically, I ran the office.

I continued in that employment until August. Being young and feeling free to do whatever we wanted, we decided to move to LaCrosse, Wisconsin. We both found jobs. I spent four years bookkeeping for a trucking firm; Brian was hired by First Federal Savings and Loan and, over the course of several years, advanced from teller to branch manager. We bought a little bungalow and everything in it was perfect. Perfect house, perfect jobs, perfect life.

We lived in LaCrosse for about seven years and were transferred to Prairie du Chien. We sold the house and bought another, also perfect. The realtor said it was fun to show our house because it was always in perfect order. I volunteered at school during those years and we bought the truck that everyone recognizes as I drive around Osceola. We did very well while we lived in Prairie du Chien.

David was born while we lived there, on May 4, 1986. We had been married nine years and six months by then. I had no trouble with the pregnancy, but he weighed 7 pounds at birth and I weighed 120 when I came to full term. I was in labor for ten hours, but he was born fine. He was just perfect.

There came a point when Brian could see no opportunity for advancement in his job, and we felt we needed a change. We bought the Minneapolis and Des Moines papers, but looked particularly for opportunities in the Des Moines Register. We wanted to go back to Iowa. It was just too cold up north. One day we read an ad for a New York Life representative and checked it out. It seemed favorable so we moved to Osceola in October, 1986, when David was five months old. That meant that in a six-month period, we quit one job, took another, had a baby, and moved 250 miles.

We lived first on Kossuth street in a little two-bedroom house owned by Max and Marge Faulkner. We were there through the winter and in March bought the house where we now live. Closing day, April 1, 1987, was a special occasion. Once there Brian was so elated to be in our own house again that he insisted on spending the night. We had no furniture. We slept on the floor and David slept in his playpen. But we were home! Perfect!

About this time I became involved in a self-improvement program that has influenced my thinking ever since I started. Its purpose is to help us examine ourselves and learn how to correct character defects. I have taken it seriously and have been at it so long that it has become a life style. The program has helped me learn some very important lessons:

(1) Nothing is really perfect, and being a perfectionist takes its toll on ourselves and on the people around us.

(2) Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to their opinion. There are always two sides to every story. I am learning to listen.

(3) I've become less concerned with being accepted. If I don't meet someone's expectations, then they can deal with it.

(5) My character defects didn't happen overnight, and they can't be fixed overnight. (6) I can only control my actions and reactions and not anyone else's.
(7) Best of all, through this program, even though my actions don't always show it, I have developed a relationship with God. He is now a constant presence in my life. I was probably 40 years old before I learned that God really does answer prayer.

Because this program encourages analyzing our behaviors and confronting the truth, I faced up to having made some mistakes with David. Wouldn't it be nice if these kids were born with an instruction book?

David started to school in 1991. When he was in first grade, I went back to what seems to be my natural inclination- having three or four jobs at one time. It was then that I started a business of wallpapering and painting, along with substituting at school. At this time, I've retired from the wallpapering business. I have quit climbing up and down ladders and have sold my brushes and ladders. I continue to be a substitute aide at school and whatever else comes along.

David will be a freshman in high school this fall (2000). He has been through an interest in piano and computers, and Brian and I hope that something will short circuit the interest he has had for the last four years. "Our son, the professional wrestler" isn't what we had in mind as an ideal career for him.

Brian was with New York Life for eight years. Then, in November 1994, he had an opportunity to join Spectrum Investments, operating from an office in Citizen's Bank.

He is now chairperson of the Osceola United Methodist Foundation. I was church treasurer for 2 ½ years, treasurer for United Methodist Women for two years, and president of that organization for the same length of time.

My father was bedridden for his last 12 years after a farm accident. He eventually lost the will to live and fight off the various infections that plagued him. My mother sold her home a year ago and is living in an apartment building, where others of her family also live.

Not having appeared in Shirley's story until page two, it seems reasonable for me to tell my own story. I was born in 1954 to Ralph and Virginia Diercks. I lived in Mason City in the same house from childhood through high school. I have a brother who is two years older than I so we were fairly close. My sister might be seven or eight years younger and I tormented her all the time. I just teased her to death but she has forgiven me and now we get along very well. She lives in Cedar Rapids. My brother lives in a small town that is a bedroom community for Dubuque. I had never heard of it and keep telling him there is no such place as Peosta, but he insists that is where he lives.

I was fortunate to know both sets of my grandparents and my maternal grandmother is still living. She is probably one of the most interesting women I have ever met. She has a great sense of humor, remarkable strength, a sense of independence, and is devoted to her family. All that may be due to her coming from a background in which they were far from affluent, and following my grandfather in the many endeavors that he undertook. He worked at a meat packing plant for awhile, then at a dairy, and owned one for awhile. There were probably more odd things that I don't know about.

It always struck me that on the surface it might appear that my grandfather was the decision maker, but Grandmother was the one who was behind the scenes and beneath it all giving the family its stability. They were close-knit- the only children were my mom and a younger sister, who passed away about 30 years ago. My grandfather passed away several years ago and Grandmother is still living by herself in the house that they lived in for over 50 years. She and I share the same birth date, November 11, and as I was growing up, we always celebrated together. At the time I didn't give a thought to patterning my life after anyone but if I were to choose someone from all the people I have encountered, she would be the one.

My schooling was in Washington Elementary, Monroe Junior High, and Mason City High School. When I applied myself in school I did really well. In elementary school and early junior high, I was a straight A student. Then I decided I didn't want to do that anymore and nobody explained to me why I should. Juvenile delinquency kicked in and I became an average student through high school, because I could be at that level without doing anything. There were nearly 500 in my graduating class in 1973 and I haven't kept in touch with any of them. They had their 25th reunion several years ago but I didn't go back.

I have never been much of a sports participant. I was in track and played some basketball through junior high and until I was a junior in high school, when I quit. I have always been an avid Green Bay Packer fan. I have been minimally interested in golf. I play maybe four or five times a year. At this stage of my life, I am not willing to spend the time. Being out there horsing around means I am not working. Perhaps later in my life I will get serious about it.

On the other hand, I cannot remember a time when I was not in the middle of a book. David has called me a bookworm on many occasions. I don't do much serious reading. I like mysteries, some biographies, and science fiction. I don't get into the heavier stuff or big historical books. I am looking to escape when I am reading.

I am pretty much obsessed with something all the time. My latest obsession is landscaping my yard. I like playing basketball with David. We've been doing that a lot, and it isn't as easy as it used to be. I like computer games and the internet, although most of my internet time is work-related research. I am a big fan of computer games- hockey, car racing, and shoot-the-monsters type games. They get rather violent but every so often I am in that mood. I like the escape from reality. Sometimes my work can be intense and when I leave the office, I want to do something completely different. I do not take my work home with me.

My parents gave me a good foundation for life. Mine was a stay-at-home Mom, and Dad worked in the bank for years and years. I went to Sunday School but we were not regular church attendees. They made clear to me the distinction between right and wrong, good and bad, and even when I detoured from what they taught, there was still that foundation. I can really relate to the Bible parable about the prodigal son, except I didn't go into the far country just one time, but many. Getting into trouble through junior and senior high, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, until the pendulum swung and all of a sudden I did a 180° degree turn. I became actively involved in the church and for several years did some lay speaking.

Then the pendulum swung again. It seemed to me that I was doing the right things for the wrong reasons. Lots of it had to do with politics and personalities. I discovered a sense of power that came from speaking to a congregation, and I began to suspect that may have become more important to me than delivering the Lord's message. I started to doubt some of the things I was saying, and there was a sense of hypocrisy. I didn't want to be that way, so it seemed better just to stop, and I got away from the church again.

I try to distinguish between the spiritual life and organized religion. The two sometimes become confused. When they get mixed together too much, that is no good. I am active in the church now; in various ways because I believe that we all have certain gifts or talents that we are called on to share with others. So if I am asked to be a liturgist, I can read; I have investment skills that can be applied to the Foundation, so I am glad to chair it. I miss the church family when I am away from it.

Education has become an acquired hobby for me. I didn't give it the attention I should have in high school. I didn't finish college and I didn't go to school to learn investments. But while I was in high school and junior college, I worked in a bank. When Shirley and I were married I worked for Savings and Loan in LaCrosse. I am sure that I picked up some knowledge from my Dad whose career was banking, and I learned as I worked with money. Experience is a great teacher!

Having no focus in earlier years has driven me to excel now. I have reached the point in my life when I realize the opportunities I wasted in high school and college, and it has driven me to do the things I do now. Since I have been out of school I have taken classes forever. I have a certificate showing that I am a CLU (Chartered Life Underwriter). I have taken lots of classes on investments and money management.

I definitely believe that we are led and that God led us to Osceola. I had been with Savings and Loan long enough, and I began looking for a change. When I took the position with New York Life, I'd had no prior experience in selling insurance. I had worked with annuities but not the insurance or investment side. Time and experience seemed to shift my interest more to the investment than the insurance side. Then the opportunity presented itself to join Spectrum Capital, whom I now represent throughout this area.

The most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me was David's birth. I can't even put into words what a miracle that was and how it affected me. It was a fantastic event that instilled in me a sense of responsibility and purpose, confirming for me that there is a reason for the way things happen. It was overwhelming!

I am so fortunate that David and I have what I believe is a great relationship. We share a love of old comedies. David was never much of fan of Ninja Turtles or other fads that his peers watched in cartoons and kids' shows. He thinks Pokémon is the dumbest thing he's ever seen. But we have dozens of videos of Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, W.C. Fields, Charlie Chaplain, and we can recite most of them by heart. A highlight for us was when AMC (American Movie Classics) had a Laurel and Hardy laugh-a-thon. Right now we are working on the Three Stooges but I don't find them as funny as I used to.

David has reached the age when he is learning to drive, which reinforces my belief that life continually changes for everybody, not just children. His maturing has caused me to mature and accept some things I formerly questioned. I hope he will choose to go on to college. I think it would be beneficial, but then I look back and realize what a waste of time and money it was the way I went about it. Maybe not everyone is destined to go to college. If he doesn't, maybe that is all right, too. I try not to get too involved with attempting to project what may or may not happen five or ten years from now.

Shirley and I have been married since 1976 - almost 24 years, at a time when fewer and fewer in our age group have stayed together that long. I have defined the reason I believe we have stayed together in three "C"s: we care for each other, we are committed to each other, and we have learned how to compromise. We could write a book about the life we have led together. We were married almost 10 years before David was born. Would we have been capable parents had he been born right away? I suspect not.

Shirley and I enjoy traveling. We have been to some fun places in the last several years. Our best trip was in 1996 when we went to Boston on a work-related trip. I attended some meetings to make it legal, and the rest of the time the two of us explored the city. The foods, the historical sights, were all new to me. I had never been any place like that! Of course, staying in five-star hotel on the Boston Commons didn't hurt. The whole experience was wonderful. We had no concern about David because he was under the watchful eyes of Bill and Patsy Holst.

Two years ago we took a trip that we had been planning for a long time. Along with our best friends from LaCrosse, we went to Disney World in Florida. David was 12, just beginning to mature, and they have one little boy. The six of us spent a week. We had wonderful weather, very small crowds. They had just opened Animal Kingdom- a big zoo - and we were among the first group of visitors. It was real quality time- expensive, but fun. Going with good friends made it that much more special. We were exhausted...we didn't stop running the whole week long...and by the end of the week we couldn't imagine wanting to go back very soon. We'd seen everything - some of them several times, but as time goes on I’d go right back.

My life experiences have persuaded me that life is a path. We are constantly discovering new things about ourselves. I am not sure that we ever get to the point of fully understanding who we are. Changes happen all the time beyond us and within us and I don't think I will ever get to the point where I will be able to say this is the way it is going to be forever.

Some of my thinking reflects other branches of faith. I see some good aspects to Far Eastern philosophies. I subscribe to the Buddhist belief that whatever you are doing at a specific moment, you should do the best you can, concentrating on that specific job or event. If you are having a cup of coffee, enjoy your cup of coffee to the fullest. If you are having a conversation, concentrate on the conversation; enjoy the person you are conversing with. If you are driving down the road, enjoy the view and the drive. I discover sometimes that I am doing all those at once, and realize that I have given my full attention to none of them.

I have read about the American Indians and I like some of their practices and spiritual beliefs. One is that everything has a place and purpose. They feel a kinship with "Mother Earth," recognizing that all that we have comes from the Earth. They have never had and will never have an ecological problem because of their deep respect for the earth and all it provides.

My life has been rhythmical-highs and lows, ups and downs. I am learning to live in the present and view my life without regrets. If I were to go back to relive it, I would make different decisions than I did then. But feelings get diluted by time, and we forget all that was going on around us and all the issues that affected our decisions. If we do the best we can at any given moment that is all we can do. I like where all of it has led me. I love my family, my work, and the people I work with. How could I ask for more than that?